Drow Love is Tough Love
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Character parallels with popular franchises!

Chrono Trigger[]

Felix
Lucca
Autem
Ayla
Granth/NPCs
Wedge, Vicks, and Piette
Lueali
Schala
Drea
Dalton
Crash
Robo
Flan
Crono
Onion
Cat
Cal
Flea
Arinae
Ozzie
BOAT
The Blackbird
Pyras
Magus


  • Felix has huge glasses and likes machines. He built a time machine that starts off the whole story when he sends Flan to the past!
  • Autem is the leader of her tribe of prehistoric people. She runs on all fours and wears animal skins, in addition to using her charm to steal items from enemies. Also, she heals people by kissing them, evidently.
  • Granth and the team of NPC's are part of this minigame that Felix can play to win stuffed animals.
  • Lueali has a magic pendant that opens stuff from the Dark Ages. He gets kidnapped by Drea.
  • Drea wears an eyepatch and a cape. He stole Flan's time machine to use as his "Airthrone," and he has a flying ship.
  • Crash is a robot that Felix repaired after Flan found it being attacked by rats. He has a very popular theme song that sounds conspicuously similar to Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up."
  • Flan is the main character, and has spiky red hair. He fights stuff with a sword, and travels through time and stuff.
  • Onion is Flan's pet cat who stays home and walks around in a room. She'll follow Flan around when he's home to visit his mom.
  • Cal is a powerful magician with an identity crisis, and one of Magus' cohorts. He totally follows you around a freaking bat.
  • Arinae raised Pyras after she was spit out of a time portal thing. She uses all kinds of weird chain traps to stop Flan and his friends from attacking her, and HER CHAINS LEAD TO HER DOWNFALL (by Onion's hand/paw).
  • Drea's boat can freaking fly.
  • Pyras is Lueali's little brother who grimly predicted Flan's death. She got like, time-warped and crap into the Middle Ages where she was raised by Arinae.

Super Mario Brothers[]

Felix
Mario
Flan
Luigi
Pyras
Yoshi
Drea
Bowser
Fuck Birdo
Arinae
Chain Chomp
Autem
Toad
Lueali
Peach
Cal
Yellow-Shelled Koopas
Onion
Rex
Wine
Fuzzy
Felipei
Pokey


  • Felix is an Italian plumber from Brooklyn who jumps on things to defeat them and consumes mushrooms and flowers to gain special abilities. He and his brother Flan work together to save Lueali from Drea on a regular basis.
  • Flan is Felix's understudy, and he almost has more fans because he's just so freaking weird. Seriously, what the hell is going on in that final smash?
  • Pyras is a dinosaur that Felix and Flan ride around on. She spontaneously sprouts wings when she eats certain turtle shells, and these weird bubble things allow her to turn into helicopters and moles and crap.
  • Drea is a huge, spiky turtle guy who some fans would argue is not a turtle at all. He rides around in a flying thing and kidnaps Lueali on a regular basis.
  • Fuck Birdo.
  • Arinae is a sphere with eyes and a mouth that's stuck on a chain. She tries to bite Felix, Flan and their friends when they pass by.
  • Autem is a short fungus creature that wears egregiously Arabic clothing. She often times makes appearances in castles.
  • Lueali is the ruler of the mushroom kingdom who gets kidnapped by Drea all the time. If you seriously try to play Super Mario RPG without him in your party, you are so screwed.
  • Cal is kind of invincible and he freaks out when he's in his shell, which glows many different colors.
  • Onion is a little purple dinosaur with red bat wings. When Felix or Flan jump on her head, she like, accordion folds and then continues on her way.
  • Touch Wine, get dizzy.
  • Felipei is this weird yellow thing that is made out of poky spheres. When you think about it, it's seriously freaking weird.

300[]

Lueali
Leonidas
Drea
Gorgo
Pyras
Xerxes
Autem
The Captain
Flan
Stilios
Granth
That Senator that Gorgo hangs out with
Onion
A Rhinoceros
Felipei
A Smaller Rhinoceros
Felix
One of those freaking wizard guys.
Cal
All of the above, except shorter.
Arinae
Marginally Taller than Cal + swings chains.


  • Lueali has a freaking sweet beard that enhances his silhouette. He yells at people and kicks them down pits wells.
  • Drea rules Sparta alongside Lueali. He stabs this one guy and money comes out like in River City Ransom, minus the BARFing.
  • Pyras decides that she's a god or something, and wears a bunch of gold stuff. She sends armies after Lueali's small but dangerous country.
  • Autem is Lueali's second in command in the military. She also has a pretty intense beard, and plays this weird flute thing. For some reason, she doesn't get a name.
  • Flan is the crazy guy who jumps around and totally cuts that one dude's arm off. He makes wise-cracks like "Then we shall fight in the shade."
  • Granth is this old dude who gives Drea sound political advice. He has a neat robe.
  • Onion is a freaking rhino. It's bad-ass, even though a lot of people complained that the CG wasn't very good.
  • Felipei doesn't get very much screen time. Some would even say that he doesn't exist.
  • Felix throws freaking grenades, and Flan got hit in the leg by shrapnel because he forgot his shin guards. He has chains on his hat.
  • Cal is all over the place.
  • Arinae might have really appreciated it if she had gotten Felix's job, or at least his hat. She probably has an animal head on her hat, though.

Harry Potter[]

Arinae
Voldemort/Tom Riddle, Aragog
Autem
Hermione, McGonagall
Cal
Fucking Tonks
Drea
Sirius Black
Felipei
Ferret!Draco Malfoy
Felix
Sir Whatever the Painting Knight, Ginny Weasley
Fie
Harry Potter
Flan
Hagrid
Granth
Dumbledore
Lueali
Gilderoy Lockhart, Remus Lupin
Onion
Buckbeak
Pyras
Fleur Delacour
  • Arinae is the primary antagonist and also a big spider. She was raised lovingly by Flan before being released into the forest by herself. Many years later, she tried to kill Fie but instead lost her powers. She tries to kill him five or six more times before he finally kills one of her and forgets the other one of her exists.
  • Autem is a close friend of Fie. She's definitely the brains of the operation, and in fact, she is very likely her own favourite student. She absolutely hates Pyras but thinks Lueali is cute.
  • Cal's hair changes colour depending on his mood. He gets paired off with Lueali in a sad attempt to make Lueali look less gay, but then they both get killed probably less than a year into an ill-fated shotgun marriage.
  • Drea rides a flying motorcycle and is totally doing it with Lueali. He gets thrown into jail for turning Fie's parents over to Arinae, even though it wasn't him, and later breaks out and lives with Lueali for a while and gives Fie joint birthday presents like a married couple. He is killed by drapery and his cousin, Cal, marries Lueali instead of him.
  • Felipei crawls around inside of little boys' clothing.
  • Felix is a kind of dim-witted guy who is made out of metal and exists in a different world. He shows Fie how to get to class once, lets Arinae out of a magic book once, and ends up marrying Fie and having eleven million children named after dead people.
  • Fie is the protagonist because he has glasses. He spends most of his time battling Arinae and her minions and ends up marrying Felix in the end, because that is like, so totally IC.
  • Flan is a big hairy guy who got expelled from wizard school because Arinae caught him taking care of Arinae. He keeps all kinds of monsters such as Onion, and is one of the few people who doesn't die in the end. Oh, and he can't cook.
  • Granth is Fie's mentor (sexually). He's gay for this guy who looks like Lueali, and gets killed so he can dramatically say some things to Fie when Fie dies later on.
  • Lueali is gay no matter how you slice it. He's a world famous author and also a werewolf. Men, women, and Mary Sues fall at his feet. He is either spectacularly rich or dirt poor and dies in the end.
  • Onion can FLY!
  • Pyras has a french accent and can make boys pretty much BSOD just by flipping her hair. She marries Felix's brother and probably has a million children in the stupid, stupid epilogue.

Aladdin[]

Granth
Aladdin
Flan
Jasmin
Onion
Rajah
Felix
The Genie
Felipei
Apu
Drea
The Sultan
Pyras
Jafar
Arinae
Iago
Lueali
Magic Carpet
Autem
City guards


  • Granth - A clever thief that falls in love with Princess Jasmine. Becomes a prince with Felix's help.
  • Flan - Flan is the princess of Agraba who longs for freedom and to see life outside the place walls.
  • Onion - Flan's loyal and protective pet tiger.
  • Felix - A magical being who was trapped inside a lamp. Uses his magic to help Granth become a Prince.
  • Felipei - Granth's monkey ferret sidekick. Gets turns into an elephant for half the movie by Felix.
  • Drea - The Sultan of Agraba and Flan's father. Likes the take rides on the magic carpet.
  • Pyras- Drea's evil Vizier and a powerful sorcerer. Pyras wants to use Felix's power to become the powerful ruler of Agraba, and perhaps the world.
  • Arinae - A small angry parrot that screams at everyone. Hates Drea in particular for shoving crackers in her mouth.
  • Lue - A rug with magical powers. Takes Flan and Granth on magic tour of the world.
  • Autem - The guards of Argraba that try and maintain order. Constantly eluded by Granth.

Kingdom of Loathing[]

Arinae
Black Cat
Autem
Doc Galaktik
Drea
Cap'm Caronch
Felix
Gnorman the Supertinker
Flan
Turtle Tamer
Lueali
King Ralph XI
Pyras
The Naughty Sorceress
Onion
Dandy Lion
Cynder
Endangered Inflatable White Tiger
Felipei
MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech
Granth
Disco Bandit
Karrs
Sleazy Gravy Fairy
Phyre'ari
Hagnk
Faceless NPCs
(Adjective)y Pirate


  • Arinae is an adorable black kitty that follows you around and interferes in combat, reducing stat gains, blocking item use, batting away monster drops, and debuffing you. Fucking cat.
  • Autem is a friendly chemist in Seaside Town that brews healing nostrums and tonics. She developed a zombification cure during the Gray Plague.
  • Drea is a pirate captain that makes you fight booty crabs, dodge frat orcs, spar in Insult Beer Pong, and clean his ship before he lets you join his crew. Asshole.
  • Felix lives in the Gnomish Gnomads' Camp. He has a giant cog for a left leg and goggles made of giant sprockets. He assembles clockwork equipment for you.
  • Flan's "mystical connection with his terrapin brethren imbues him with great power. He excels at moving very slowly and winning footraces with smug satisfaction." He also has two of the best skills in the whole game.
  • Lue was kidnapped by the Sorceress and "imprismed in a black crystalline shard of curdled magic. It was very dramatic." In his absence, monsters start appearing and terrorizing the kingdom, thus starting the game storyline.
  • Pyras is the end boss who lives in a tall tower guarded by giant familiars, topiary golems, stone mariachis, and suchlike. She wears a black leather corset and dress. She's not really your mother. During the fight, she'll change into two monstrous forms.
  • Onion is the cutest familiar in the entire game. Hands fucking down.
  • Cynder is one of the tower monsters that guard Pyras. Almost impossible to beat unless you have a specific item.
  • Felipei is a little robot that Felix can build for you. He shoots lasers and missiles.
  • Granth "boogies to and fro, hither and yon. Whence comes he? No man knows. Whither strikes he next? All men live in fear of him and his Moxie."
  • Karrs is sparkly and greasy and slutty.
  • Fie's house was mostly burned down. Then a comet hit it. Then it got flooded by melting ice from the comet. Currently, due to community efforts, it's been rebuilt. Then again, they used bricks that may or may not be the equivalent of depleted uranium, so who knows. It's been a year and he hasn't gotten radiation poisoning yet, but still. Also, if you do a Bad Moon ascension, he gets sent to Hell. With a handbasket.
  • The Faceless NPCs are every single pirate in the Obligatory Pirate's Cove. Swarthy, sassy, shady, tetchy, tipsy, chatty, clingy, gaudy, groovy, whiny, warty—ALL OF THEM.

Seiken Densetsu 3[]

Arinae
Carlie
Autem
Lise
Drea
Duran
Flan
Kevin/Hawk
Lueali
Angela
Pyras
Queen Valda
Onion
Nikita
Karrs
Dark Prince
BOAT
Booskaboo

lol I played this game and I don't know enough about it

Final Fantasy VI[]

Arinae
Relm/Sasquatch
Autem
Celes
Drea
Setzer
Flan
Gau
Lueali
Terra
Phyre'ari
Strago
Pyras
Kefka
Onion
Mog
Cynder
Cait Sith Stray
Granth
Shadow
Karrs
General Leo

Final Fantasy IV[]

Granth
Kain, Golbez
Phyre'ari
Edward
Flan
Edge
Pyras
Tellah, Rubicante
Drea
Cid
Arinae
Palom
Autem
Cecil, Rydia
Lueali
Porom, Rosa
Onion
Namingway
BOAT
Enterprise


  • Granth is always tall and wearing dark colored armor. Sometimes, he jumps really high, and other times he has a cape and is very scary. He mind controls himself to make himself fight Autem at some point.
  • Phyre'ari is bard who is secretly a prince! He eloped with Pyras' daughter, which made Pyras very upset. He has a sweet hat.
  • Flan is a ninja, which is awesome. He's a prince, too (prince of the ninjas!). He has magic and stuff, but will his ninja skills alone be enough to face Pyras?
  • Pyras is an old sage who forgot most of her spells. After her daughter died to save Phyre'ari's life, she vowed revenge against Granth. Her sacrifice frees Granth from Granth's control. She also doubles as Granth's lead enforcer, wearing a fancy red cape and a cool hat. She killed Flan's parents.
  • Fuck Birdo.
  • Drea is an awesome mechanic guy with an awesome beard, awesome goggles, and an awesome hammer. He builds flying ships such as BOAT.
  • Arinae is a little kid with magic powers that she is very proud of. She wears these awesome pants that come up to her neck, and has a cape and stuff. She doesn't have very good manners.
  • Autem is an awesome paladin with white hair, except for when she's a comparably as awesome summoner with green hair.
  • Lueali is Arinae's fraternal twin, and he also casts magic. He tries hard to apologize for Arinae's behavior, and is very polite.
  • Onion is an adorable rabbit-eared moogle thing. She can change your name if you're playing on SNES.
  • BOAT is still a boat, but now it can fly.

Jekyll & Hyde: THE MUSICAL[]

Drea
Dr. Henry Jekyll/Edward Hyde
Arinae
UNDERSTUDY FOR HYDE
SHEA
Lucy Harris
Lueali
Emma Carew
Granth
John Utterson
Fie
Sir Danvers Carew
Autem
Bishop of Basingstoke, Poole
Pyras
Lady Beaconsfield
Karrs
The Spider
Flan
Mr. Simon Stride
NPCs
Ensemble
Onion
The Loveable Pet Tiger Who Is Totally In The Play
  • ACT ONE
  • SCENE 1: The play opens narrated by Granth and Fie, who want to talk about Drea, who is probably dead right now.
  • SCENE 2: Drea visits his father in a mental hospital! Drea is a scientist and is conducting experiments to find a way to decrazy his father.
  • SCENE 3: NPCS SING ABOUT NONE OF THEM HAVING FACES!
  • SCENE 4: Drea sppeals to the Board of Governors, including Fie, Autem, and Pyras, for permission to test his MAGIC DECRAZIFYING POTION on an NPC. They say fuck no and he rants about it to Granth for a while and then they leave.
  • SCENE 5: MOAR SINGING NPCS
  • SCENE 6: Fie's son daughter CHILD, Lueali is having a party celebrating his engagement to Drea yaaaay! DREA IS LATE so everyone in the party is making fun of him. Flan takes this opportunity to try and get Lueali to marry him instead of Drea! Lue, who is an abomination of a Victorian woman, or something, gives him a speech involving freedom and his dead mother. Flan replies that Drea is crazy and Lue is like NO HE'S A TTLY NORMAL MAD SCIENTIST OK. Eventually Drea shows up and they sing some sappy songs, and then Lue gets a song with Fie about how they are still going to be friends even though Lue is marrying some weirdo, and then the party is over.
  • SCENE 7: NPCS STILL DON'T HAVE FACES YOU GUYS
  • SCENE 8: SHEA DOESN'T WANT TO BE A WHORE D: EVEN THOUGH HE'S TTLY HOT AND ALL THE OTHER WHORES WANT TO BE HIM.
  • SCENE 9: Shea sings an awesome innuendo-filled song about oral sex and things, unless we're in the shitty Hoff version, in which case it's a song about Good & Evil which is far less amazing. Afterwards, he tries to put the moves on Drea but Drea is like I AM ENGAGED TO LUE OKAY and gives Shea his business card. MEANWHILE, GRANTH TOTALLY GETS LAID.
  • SCENE 10-12: Back at his house, Drea tells Granth and Autem to bugger off because he's decided to use himself for the test subject in his experiment! He drinks his CRAZY POTION and/or injects it depending on which version you're watching, sings like three different songs, and turns into EVIL!CRAZYPANTS!DREA.
  • SCENE 13: EVIL!CRAZYPANTS!DREA IS EVIL! AND CRAZY!
  • SCENE 14: SO CRAZY!
  • SCENE 15: Lue, Fie, and Granth are worried about Drea, who's locked himself inexplicably into his lab for bloody ever. Granth goes to lecture him while Lue sings sappily about how he still loves Drea no matter what, defending him against Fie, who is rather annoyed at Drea's treatment of his son his daughter Lueali.
  • SCENE 16: Shea comes to Drea's house and reveals that he has been hurt/raped by EVIL!CRAZYPANTS!DREA, who he does not connect at all to normal!Drea. Normal!Drea heals his wounds with SCIENCE while Shea sings about how amazing Drea is, and then they kiss, and then Shea leaves.
  • SCENE 17: EVIL!CRAZYPANTS!DREA IS STILL EVIL AND CRAZY YOU GUYS!
  • ACT TWO
  • SCENE 1: Everyone's in a panic because EVIL!CRAZYPANTS!DREA keeps fucking killing people! Good thing no one is connecting him to normal!Drea, despite him killing the dudes who refused to give him a test subject way back at the beginning of Act One. Autem gets impaled, Pyras gets strangled, AND MANY MORE.
  • SCENE 2: Lueali tries to visit Drea and gets kicked out, which finally makes him sad that Drea is ignoring him. ): He sings a sad song about it and Drea is still pretty crazy.
  • SCENE 3: SHEA AND LUE BOTH WANT TO DO DREA BECAUSE OF HIS ORBS EYES. DREA REMAINS OBLIVIOUS.
  • SCENE 4: EVIL!CRAZYPANTS!DREA goes to hit on Shea, who does not like him at all despite just singing about being ttly obsessed with normal!Drea. Shea probably gets raped in this scene.
  • SCENE 5: EVIL!CRAZYPANTS!DREA encounters Granth, who can't even recognize him as normal!Drea until he lets normal!Drea take over their body again. Drea gives Granth a letter and money to give Shea so he can leave forever and be safe from EVIL!CRAZYPANTS!DREA. Granth is freaked the fuck out but says he will do it and runs, while Drea tries to make a potion that will get rid of EVIL!CRAZYPANTS!DREA forever.
  • SCENE 6: Granth gives Shea the letter and tells him to GTFO. Shea is sad at first but quickly is won over by FREE MONEY and sings a happy hopeful song about his great new life somewhere far away where he won't be a whore in a corset and kimono, and can have lovers and a happy J K Rowling Ending (tm). Then EVIL!CRAZYPANTS!DREA shows up out of fucking nowhere and sings some stuff that Shea sang to normal!Drea back to him, then slits his throat. EVIL!CRAZYPANTS!DREA then happily hands control of the body back to normal!Drea so he can see what they did. NORMAL!DREA FUCKING RUNS.
  • SCENE 7: Normal!Drea laments about wanting to help his crazy father, but is cut off by EVIL!CRAZYPANTS!DREA wanting to sing his own song. They battle back and forth dramatically and tell each other to go to hell, then normal!Drea appears to win and passes out on the floor.
  • SCENE 8: DID WE MENTION THE NPCS DO NOT HAVE FACES????
  • SCENE 9: OMG DREA AND LUE ARE SO GETTING MARRIED HAPPY ENDING LUL! But JUST THEN, normal!Drea becomes EVIL!CRAZYPANTS!DREA, kills Flan, and tries to kill Lueali. Lue talks normal!Drea out of EVIL!CRAZYPANTS!DREA SOMEHOW and then normal!Drea is, of course, horrified, so he tells Granth to kill him! Granth is like I CAN'T BUT HERE'S MY SWORD and Drea is like K and kills himself. Lue does his very best Zero impression and that's the fucking end of this really happy play.
  • SCENE 10: THE ENDING MUSIC IS THE BEST FUCKING SONG IN THE WHOLE PLAY.
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